I never wanted kids. ever. ever. everrrrrrr!!!! But when I started spending my days as Holden's nanny I started to understand what people meant when they said when they had a kid there was a new kind of love that transcended anything they had known. I felt proud of him. Responsible in a weighty way for his well being. I wanted to partner with his amazing parents to be consistant and involved in his life. I dreamt dreams about what his future would become. I became somewhat easily manipulated by his charm. I enjoy everything about him. He is my most favorite kid. And I remind him of it often.
He's 13 now. My heart breaks a little typing that last sentence. There are moments when I see a glimpse of little boy in there and it makes me nostalgic to the point of tears. I am proud of who he is growing into, don't get me wrong but I suppose like every parent, good nanny, invested adult there is a part of you that just wants to keep them young and carefree forever.
I came across a few pictures tonight of Holden and I and shook my head. My how I've shrunk and he's grown! The kid who has my heart...
2008
2009
2010
2011 (he's taller than me!!! bah!)
1 comments:
Brought tears to my eyes, as I am feeling a lot of those same feelings with my 13 year old. I will share this with you, but you can't ever tell him. When my younger boys were at camp, we were watching tv together. He looked at me and said, "Mom, I know this may sound strange, but I want to sit on your lap." I said, "yeah? Well come on!" So there I am watching Burn Notice with my big baby sitting on my lap. He is huge! We were laughing, but we sure did sit like that for a long time! And that is a moment in time that I will cherish forever!
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