It's funny how if you keep your senses open, life is always interacting with you. I try to keep engaged but sometimes I forget.
This past weekend I needed a book for my flight to Denver. I couldn't decide so I closed my eyes and picked. "The Pilgrimage" by Paulo Coelho was in my hands when I opened them. I had no idea it was his memoir of his own spiritual journey and the journey that inspired his most loved book "The Alchemist".
It's a beautiful story. I view this man as such a wise soul and every one of his books I have read has held a nugget of an answer or a "Hey! I'm not alone!" for my little journey too. In reading this I find him fumbling along, struggling, trying hard and yet missing the point, outshining his own potential accidentally, not able to receive the praise, wanting to hurry along and then when the time is right- not wanting to move forward. I sighed loudly on the plane before I even realized it. I am not alone. This is me too and the timing of reading it is creepy.
In my own life I find myself AGAIN at a transition point. Only partly employed and wanting to fully break into the personal training world, yet not completely able to get there in spite of my deep desire. I would like to blame money and time and place on it but there is this innate feeling that it's just me waiting... on the stars to align? Maybe. Because there is something significant in my own heart journey to this destination? Absolutely.
Today I grumbled selfishly about this. Yes I had paid the bills for the month, negotiated, gotten several blessings and Personal Assistant small jobs... but my training client roster isn't full and I am not living the dream job I so desire. I forget the beauty of this time right now. How many people can say their needs are met for the month already when they are not working full time? How many people have mastered living on a little and not spending more than they have? How many people can say they are happy and aren't tied to a job they hate? How many people get to dream and plan for what they love? I shouldn't have grumbled. I should have been savoring the sunshine and the time with my friend and the soreness of my legs from being able to have my trainer.
Today Paulo's blog entry is called "Impatient to Change". In it he wrote about how it took him 40 years to become a writer and about his 1987 book The Pilgrimage inspiring that (gasp!). Mostly he spoke about his own impatience to just get there already instead of the learning and growing in between.
Yes I see the theme here. Yes I'm stopping my grumbling. Yes I'm sitting back and enjoying the ride. I'm growing patience yet again. God help me.
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