Impermanence

Is is odd to say that every so often the thought of death comes along. Not in any weird morbid kind of way but in the way that I am aware of my mortality- that my days are numbered and I don't actually know what the number is.

You see things like Steve Jobs' death and everyone starts talking about it. Suddenly we're all reminded of how short life is. Suddenly we are united in a process of adjustment that one of us isn't here any more. We see pictures of people going to Mac stores with flowers and notes and read pretty much everywhere about the impact this one man made on the world.

Yes Steve Jobs was special, but we ALL make impact on the world. Some of the smallest things change the biggest ones. A small ripple effect can set someone in motion. Words, actions, advice, decisions... wow, we are all pretty powerful.

Today on the way to the store I drove past a homemade memorial. It had flowers (now dead), stuffed animals matted down by the rain, written letters unreadable. I mean no disrespect at all, I know full well these are people's feelings and healing/grieving processes. But I started thinking what I hoped would happen if I ever died in some big tragic way or had left a mark that would evoke such mourning. I would want none of this.

I would want my friends and family to be vibrant. If they must gather in a space, then pray prayers for themselves and each other's hopes and dreams. If they had to cry then make it beautifully dramatic and end it with a great big belly laugh at something silly we had done together. I would want their freedom, not sitting back wondering how they could have squeezed more time out of the days we had, but treasure the ones we did.

I know this isn't easy. When I lost my Gram several years ago I sunk into deep depression for a while. I needed it for my own heart. But all the same, I'd still want to know those I loved most were moving on.

Nothing Gold Can Stay
by Robert Frost

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay